Today I learned that my uncle, David Hudson, lost his battle with ALS. It is no secret that I do not deal with emotional issues well, so it is probably not surprising that instead of talking about how I felt, I learned the hormone pathways that cause us to cry in response to emotional stimuli. That information was fascinating to learn and provided a temporary distraction, but it did nothing to calm my aching heart. I'm usually the type of person that needs to process things like this by thinking them through logically or talking them out. Neither of those avenues seem particularly satisfying right now so I decided to write about the many ways that David positively affected my life.
When I was very young, I wasn't aware that I had an uncle named David. (actually, I still don't. He's my Dad's cousin but it was easier to call him Uncle David than second-cousin-once-removed David, but I digress...) When I was in third grade, my family moved into the same ward as David and Donna. We always sat in the row in front of them and David would bring treats to keep us quiet.
As I grew older, David started to take on a more influential role in my life. Just about every Sunday that I can remember, he would wrap his arm around me in church and tell me how pretty I was. For an impressionable young girl with self-esteem issues, this simple act gave me a much needed weekly boost.
Getting older still, David became my Sunday school teacher. It was in those few years that I had my eyes opened to new ways to view the gospel. David would talk about his indiscretions as a younger man, and how they had a huge impact on the rest of his life. He spoke often about the atonement, explaining that it was what got him through the difficult times in his life, and how it could work for us too. He also helped me to understand that mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of - everyone makes them. The only shame would be found in choosing not to learn from them.
After I left for college, my chances to see David were limited. However, those times that I did go to my parents' ward, I always knew that he and Donna would be there, fourth row from the back, strong as always. I also knew that if it was fast Sunday, I would likely get to hear a humbly spoken, thoughtful testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ from one or both of them.
When I learned that David had ALS, I was heartbroken. Not too long before that, I had learned in a Biology class the devastating effects ALS has on the human body. I remember comparing my thoughts when I was learning about ALS (relatively cold, analytical, logical) to the thoughts I had about it after (emotional, sad, etc.) ALS devastates the bodies of its victims, often rendering them unable to breathe on their own in less than two years. When asked about how he was doing, David would often respond that he was ready to die; that he knew the Lord had a plan for his life, and that the atonement was real. I always found it interesting that a person who was obviously so physically weak could still appear so strong and stoic.
I remember the last time that I saw David. It was Christmas day, 2011. It was a Sunday. His wife was speaking in church, so we sat with him. Not on the side where I was used to, but dead center of the chapel, in the middle of the row. I sat next to him and started to make small talk. He smiled at me, and told me that the Lord had blessed him with time for his family, but that he didn't have time for small talk. He asked me about my future plans and gave sage advice that will likely direct all of the major life choices that I make in the future. During his wife's talk, David leaned over and through tear-filled eyes, told me that she was the one who kept him straight all of those years. He told me she was the best thing that ever happened to him. He also told me to choose wisely the person that I would commit to spend eternity with. "Pick someone who loves you, loves the gospel, and the Lord. And by all means make sure that he can make you laugh!"
Later on in the meeting, the ward choir preformed. It was quite possibly the worst display of musical talent I had ever witnessed. I leaned over to make a snide comment, hoping to be met with a little chuckle or a teeny smile. I was surprised, then humbled when I was instead met with censure. "I can't talk like that anymore," he said, "I might not have time to repent for it." He smiled and directed his attention back to the choir. Interestingly enough, they didn't sound nearly as bad after that. When the meeting came to a close, David wrapped his arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear, as he had so many times before, that I was a beautiful, strong woman, and that he was proud of the person I had become. I didn't know it then, but those were the last words that he would ever speak to me in my lifetime.
David may have moved on from this life, but the lessons he taught me and the example that he was will remain a legacy in my life, and in the lives of others for years to come.I hope that one day I'll be able to touch someone's life in the way that he has touched mine. I'm sending out positive thoughts and prayers to my family, especially my aunt Donna, as they go through this difficult time.
The Facts About Grey Wolf Season...
I recently saw a youtube video that really bothered me. Long story short, the video features Ashley Judd speaking out against the wolf season that is currently going on in Idaho. To further frustrate me, the Ian Somerhalder Foundation posted a link on their twitter page to this article. Both the video and the article are misleading and illustrate a false image of the wolves' status as an endangered species (they are not), their viability in their habitat, and the "catastrophic results" of the season on the population of the wolves in Idaho. I would like to take some time to explain some key points to clear up some of the confusion caused by these two media sources.
1. The video anthropomorphized the wolves' living situation and family units. Ashley Judd says in the youtube video, "Their families are a lot like ours, with parents teaching their young the skills they need to make their way in the world" (cue footage of wolf pups frolicking with each other). This statement is true to a point. Wolves do travel in packs with mating pairs, and they do teach their young by example. The difference is that the monogamy seen here is not the same as the monogamy seen in the human population. Humans form pair-bonds because of a desire to form lasting connections. Wolves form these pair bonds in order to survive and to increase the likelihood that their offspring will survive.
2. Ashley's extra dramatic voice is next heard saying that the goal of the IDFG (Idaho Fish & Game) is to "Slash the population from nearly 1,000 to 518." While this statement is true, it fails to explain the all important question, why? The simple answer is that the wolf population is reaching levels that are dangerous for the animals that they are predators to. Wolves prey on moose, bison, deer, elk and other ungulates. This predation is essential to keep these populations below the carrying capacity for the ecosystem in which they reside. Unfortunately, the wolf population has expanded beyond the needs of system, and they are killing too many of these ungulates. Furthermore, the wolves' territories are starting to expand, thereby increasing human interaction and livestock predation. To date, there have been no recorded accounts of a wolf pack killing a human in North America. This is due in part to the fact that the wolf populations have been closely monitored and controlled. The goal of allowing a closely monitored season on wolves is to restore balance to the ecosystem. The IDFG wants to keep wolf levels high enough that they can continue to produce offspring and interact with one another, while maintaining a predatory balance with their prey.
3. Next we hear Ms. Judd's voice saying, "Hundreds of wolves will be shot, with many orphaned wolf pups left to starve to death during the brutal winter months." This portion is meant to tug on your heartstrings as footage of small pups looking around fades on and off the screen. These images are an unfortunate distortion of the truth. Hunting seasons are set up in a manner that allows species to have their breeding season and raise their young to a viable point. So by the time the season opened, the wolves would be grown enough to fend for themselves (basically, they'd no longer be pups). In addition, even if the season opened while mothers were lactating, (which it doesn't) it would be highly unlikely that they would be harvested as they would be spending almost all of their time with their young in their den.
4. The article that the ISF linked to and several more that link from it suggest that the IDFG was reckless in removing the wolves from the endangered species list. Ashley Judd's video urges President Obama to restore the wolves to the endangered species list. What these groups are not pointing out is the fact that the current population is well over the MVP (minimum viable population) and are nowhere near needing to have endangered species protections put in place. Ashley Judd noted that these actions weakened the Endangered Species Act. What she doesn't realize is that misinformation like this is what really weakens that act. If people do not have confidence that the act is protecting and supporting the species that need it most, they are less likely to support it and its proponents in the future. In turn, this effects those species that actually need to have ESA protections.
While hunting is not the most desirable means to harvest the wolf population, it seems to be the most effective. Efforts by the IDFG to sterilize or relocate populations have been largely ineffective. When IDFG offered to trap some of the population and transport them, no other states would accept the transported wolves. The monitored harvesting of wolves in Idaho and Montana is necessary to control populations and keep balance in the beautiful ecosystems abundantly found in this area. If readers have more questions, they can find many answers here.
1. The video anthropomorphized the wolves' living situation and family units. Ashley Judd says in the youtube video, "Their families are a lot like ours, with parents teaching their young the skills they need to make their way in the world" (cue footage of wolf pups frolicking with each other). This statement is true to a point. Wolves do travel in packs with mating pairs, and they do teach their young by example. The difference is that the monogamy seen here is not the same as the monogamy seen in the human population. Humans form pair-bonds because of a desire to form lasting connections. Wolves form these pair bonds in order to survive and to increase the likelihood that their offspring will survive.
2. Ashley's extra dramatic voice is next heard saying that the goal of the IDFG (Idaho Fish & Game) is to "Slash the population from nearly 1,000 to 518." While this statement is true, it fails to explain the all important question, why? The simple answer is that the wolf population is reaching levels that are dangerous for the animals that they are predators to. Wolves prey on moose, bison, deer, elk and other ungulates. This predation is essential to keep these populations below the carrying capacity for the ecosystem in which they reside. Unfortunately, the wolf population has expanded beyond the needs of system, and they are killing too many of these ungulates. Furthermore, the wolves' territories are starting to expand, thereby increasing human interaction and livestock predation. To date, there have been no recorded accounts of a wolf pack killing a human in North America. This is due in part to the fact that the wolf populations have been closely monitored and controlled. The goal of allowing a closely monitored season on wolves is to restore balance to the ecosystem. The IDFG wants to keep wolf levels high enough that they can continue to produce offspring and interact with one another, while maintaining a predatory balance with their prey.
3. Next we hear Ms. Judd's voice saying, "Hundreds of wolves will be shot, with many orphaned wolf pups left to starve to death during the brutal winter months." This portion is meant to tug on your heartstrings as footage of small pups looking around fades on and off the screen. These images are an unfortunate distortion of the truth. Hunting seasons are set up in a manner that allows species to have their breeding season and raise their young to a viable point. So by the time the season opened, the wolves would be grown enough to fend for themselves (basically, they'd no longer be pups). In addition, even if the season opened while mothers were lactating, (which it doesn't) it would be highly unlikely that they would be harvested as they would be spending almost all of their time with their young in their den.
4. The article that the ISF linked to and several more that link from it suggest that the IDFG was reckless in removing the wolves from the endangered species list. Ashley Judd's video urges President Obama to restore the wolves to the endangered species list. What these groups are not pointing out is the fact that the current population is well over the MVP (minimum viable population) and are nowhere near needing to have endangered species protections put in place. Ashley Judd noted that these actions weakened the Endangered Species Act. What she doesn't realize is that misinformation like this is what really weakens that act. If people do not have confidence that the act is protecting and supporting the species that need it most, they are less likely to support it and its proponents in the future. In turn, this effects those species that actually need to have ESA protections.
While hunting is not the most desirable means to harvest the wolf population, it seems to be the most effective. Efforts by the IDFG to sterilize or relocate populations have been largely ineffective. When IDFG offered to trap some of the population and transport them, no other states would accept the transported wolves. The monitored harvesting of wolves in Idaho and Montana is necessary to control populations and keep balance in the beautiful ecosystems abundantly found in this area. If readers have more questions, they can find many answers here.
Things that matter, things that don't.
The past few weeks, my parents have been out of town. This means that me and the dog have been hanging out every day after work and that I've had a lot of time for introspection. I came to realize a few things about who I've become in the 22 years I've been here. While I'm amazed at how much I've changed in the past two years, I look and see just how much room I still have to grow.
A friend of mine posted this blog today and I read all the recent posts while sitting in the doctor's office. I do not have children, nor am I anywhere near a place in my life to have any. That fact in no way diminishes the way that I felt reading Ruby's story. Here are some thoughts that came to me...
1. It doesn't matter whether or not I have the latest shoes or handbags. It matters that I'm close enough to my family to know the latest news in their lives.
2. It doesn't matter that I sometimes get out of breath when I'm out running. It matters that I have the choice to go out on that run.
3. It doesn't matter that I don't have a boyfriend in my life to love me, it matters that all the love I need is shown to me every day in the miraculous world that was created for me.
4. It doesn't matter that my family is not perfect, or even that we sometimes fight, yell and say hurtful things. It only matters that deep down, we love each other, and we're sealed together for eternity.
I don't know why that story had such a strong impact on me today. One could say that I've been a bit...hard-hearted lately. I feel like I've taken all the heartache, pain and anguish of the past 2 years and used it as an excuse to barricade myself from everyone around me. But somehow, Ruby Jane's story reminded me that sometimes, the moments that we get with the ones we love are fleeting. So it's time to take advantage of the time that I have now, stop worrying about myself and start looking around to see where I'm needed.
A friend of mine posted this blog today and I read all the recent posts while sitting in the doctor's office. I do not have children, nor am I anywhere near a place in my life to have any. That fact in no way diminishes the way that I felt reading Ruby's story. Here are some thoughts that came to me...
1. It doesn't matter whether or not I have the latest shoes or handbags. It matters that I'm close enough to my family to know the latest news in their lives.
2. It doesn't matter that I sometimes get out of breath when I'm out running. It matters that I have the choice to go out on that run.
3. It doesn't matter that I don't have a boyfriend in my life to love me, it matters that all the love I need is shown to me every day in the miraculous world that was created for me.
4. It doesn't matter that my family is not perfect, or even that we sometimes fight, yell and say hurtful things. It only matters that deep down, we love each other, and we're sealed together for eternity.
I don't know why that story had such a strong impact on me today. One could say that I've been a bit...hard-hearted lately. I feel like I've taken all the heartache, pain and anguish of the past 2 years and used it as an excuse to barricade myself from everyone around me. But somehow, Ruby Jane's story reminded me that sometimes, the moments that we get with the ones we love are fleeting. So it's time to take advantage of the time that I have now, stop worrying about myself and start looking around to see where I'm needed.
Falling Whistles Campaign...
I know I've been posting a lot lately, but in case you haven't noticed, Falling Whistles is a cause that I am very passionate about. The current situation in Congo is not good. In one of our world's deadliest wars, children are being forced to stand on the front lines. Some of them are too small to carry the heavy guns that soldiers usually use, so they are given a whistle. That small whistle is the only thing that separates them from life and death. They are told to blow it as loud as they can to "scare" the enemy. "Their only choice is to feign death or face it." As the first shots of the battle sound, the children and their whistles fall to the ground.
This year, the Congolese are trying to hold an election. If successful, this will be the third election in that country since 1960. Unfortunately, the infrastructure to support the election is not there. That's where you can help. There is a petition currently circulating that is asking President Obama and Secretary Clinton to send an envoy to the great lakes region of Congo to support the people in their election.
Congo has been ripped apart by violence far too long.
It is time for peace.
You can do something to help.
Visit the site. Watch the video. Sign the petition. Repost it somewhere. Anywhere.
become a whistleblower for peace.
fat camp.
After I got done selling, I moved home for a while. I fully intended to start eating healthy and exercising and crap, but then I got distracted working as a sampler at Costco. (did you know that you can have as MANY samples as you want there? True story.) I figured that being back in school would be a better time to get myself under control because I usually become a gym rat and blast cardio like you wouldn't believe.
Fast forward to January - school started. I wanted to die because I had SO MUCH homework. Instead of coming home and eating freshly torn lettuce leaves with carrots and plain baked chicken, I ate pizza and fried chicken and NEVER went to the gym.
1. Two-mile run in under 16 minutes
2. 40 push-ups in 2 minutes
3. 75 sit-ups in 2 minutes
4. 5-month record of eating habits
5. Excercise every day
6. Have $10k in savings
It seems like a lot to undertake in just one summer, especially when you consider where I'm starting out at. (no, I cannot run an entire mile) It's daunting, but I know I can do it. I already asked both of my brothers and they are rallying with their support. (HOW did they end up with all of the good physical fitness, eat-whatever-I-want-and-still-look-amazing genes?) I believe that I can do it and I need all the support I can get so if you're in Washington this summer, hit me up for a run.
Until then, peace out little homies :)
Bitties.
a cause to get behind...
A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a program called Falling Whistles. 100 % of the proceeds go to help free children trapped in our world's largest war. Go to the website. Read the story. Be inspired. Buy a whistle.
Become a whistleblower for peace.
rawr.
I am back in school starting this week. I forgot what it's like to study for five-ten hours a day. It's almost exhilarating...
A few updates...
1. I stayed home for the rest of fall semester to spend time with my family. It was the best three months I've had in a long time. Yes, I did room with Colby.
2. If you didn't catch it before, I am in school again. Classes this semester: Biology, Human Anat & Phys, Organic Chemistry, and Book of Mormon.
3. I am living with my best friend in the whole world. For all of you who said we couldn't do it....LAME.
4. I need someone to unpack my room. I have not had the time to get to it haha.
These are the basics, and I'm terribly sorry that I haven't been very good about posting. I hope everyone had a merry Christmas and Happy New year... I know I did :)
A few updates...
1. I stayed home for the rest of fall semester to spend time with my family. It was the best three months I've had in a long time. Yes, I did room with Colby.
2. If you didn't catch it before, I am in school again. Classes this semester: Biology, Human Anat & Phys, Organic Chemistry, and Book of Mormon.
3. I am living with my best friend in the whole world. For all of you who said we couldn't do it....LAME.
4. I need someone to unpack my room. I have not had the time to get to it haha.
These are the basics, and I'm terribly sorry that I haven't been very good about posting. I hope everyone had a merry Christmas and Happy New year... I know I did :)
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